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A Better Way to Divorce
A Collaborative Divorce is based on three principles:
1. A pledge not to go to court
2. An honest and open exchange of information between both spouses
3. Solutions that address the needs of and concerns of all family members.
Collaborative divorce is designed to be civilized, sophisticated, creative, and respectful
for parties wishing to find a solution to their separation rather than assign blame. It is designed for parents who
need and desire to find a way to co-parent their children despite their separation and minimize the negative impact of the
divorce on the children. It is devised for those who value privacy as financial and personal issues are not discussed
in open court. It is for couples who prefer to be in control of their divorce rather than letting a judge decide.
Ideally, it is best to meet with me first, before each of you retains an attorney.
We will start with several session of divorce coaching. After a few sessions, you may want to try to reconcile
or you may want to proceed with the divorce. At that point, I can refer you to attorneys that are collaboratively-trained
and would be a good fit. We will also work to find a neutral collaboratively-trained financial professional that
would assist in the process without making the family finances public. The
goal of the collaborative divorce process is to resolve all issues relating to the separation in a non-adversarial manner.
The process reduces conflict and maintains trust. Especially when children are involved, it facilates cooperation
which is essential for reducing the impact on the children. Other
than the final agreement and the uncontested divorce hearing, there are no court papers to be prepared and no court hearings.
The result is usually far less costly and time-consuming than traditional adversarial divorces. I would be there with
you throughout the process to provide support and guidance.
Divorce Coaching:
The role I serve as a Divorce Coach is simple: It is to facilitate a safe divorce for both spouses and to
help navigate you past the problems of negotiating parenting time, divvying up property, coping with the pain of separation.
If both participants agree, after signing a release of information that affirms videos of the process can never
be used in any divorce proceeding, I may videotape portions of couple sessions to provide you with feedback to help you negotiate
better. The more empowered each side feels, the more trust and assertive each participant will be. Often what
throws a wrench in the works is when the balance of power is tilted so the other party is viewed as unfair or unreasonable.
One spouse copes with feeling helpless by becoming enraged. The other feels resentful and all the more certain they
cannot be reasonable with someone so intoxicated with anger and spite. Having a video to provide objective feedback
can help clue all parties in to how to fight fair and not waste time arguing when we can be constructively and respectfully
negotiate instead.
If you have any
questions or would like to set up an appointment, please feel free to contact me at psychologist@jonwall.com or 908.295.1890.
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